Every last thing... now, what's next?

I have discovered I am not a very good blogger or shall I say consistent blogger but what  I am good at is getting some other shit done! I had a goal, ok a few, of doing some things and getting back to some things after my knee replacement surgery. The first was cycling and of course that helps get you stronger for everything else! Plus I love commuting on my bike it just makes me smile to ride around town on my different bikes. The second was to do the 1/2 ironman in June and as a fund raiser for my brothers foundation -- that wasn't my fittest or my prettiest but boy did it feel great! Then of course I wanted to get back to hiking and trail running and I can do both of those things today with no pain and I am getting stronger. Xanthe took this trail running video last fall coming down Sanitas.



And then lastly, I wanted to snow board, it is really one of my greatest loves and all last season everyone kept telling me "It's a good season to miss it is so dry". That helped and made me feel better but I missed it terribly and I remembered the last time I had ridden I was near tears (ok, there were tears) from the pain in my knee and that was really the most deciding factor that I had to do something different! Well, just after the first of the year Xanthe and I went up and took some laps it was AWESOME and although I have lost some strength that I am getting back, there was no pain and it had been 14 months since surgery! Now if it would just dump some snow in the mountains! So, I am ready to call the knee replacement done and successful!I will be searching out my next adventure and of course training for whatever is next! A special shout out to my friends who love, encourage and inspire me. Xanthe thank you for everything my Love. And, Rocky  -- well, you know you have been there through all of it. Live Love! Dana D.

Half IronMan for Rocky!

203 days on July 01, 2012

My pal Lynne has wanted to do something to show her support for the journey I have been going through grieving and healing. She hatched a plan back in February that has given me something for which I could strive and look forward. Knowing that I often plan these infamous “24 hour adventure Days” She came up with a similar challenge that I have never attempted but will serve its purpose of suffering, pain and enduring. There are a handful of us that will be trying to complete a ½ Ironman this Sunday July 1^st. It is the first of what we hope will be a second fundraiser annually for my brother’s foundation. The Kirk ”Rocky” Derichsweiler Memorial Foundation https://www.facebook.com/dana.derichsweiler#!/pages/Kirk-Rocky-Derichsweiler-Memorial-Foundation/324518870906543

 Everyone entered is making a donation and I am asking for pledges per mile. We have been able to do some great work through the foundation focusing on educating kids about organ donation and getting kids on bikes through Community Cycles.

The next place we are looking is to find a way to help some of the wild fire victims. Rocky would have it no other way.   

Let’s break it down –

1.2 mile swim -- I got this, not super fast and like most cyclist I will just want to get through it.

56.0 mile Bike -- this is where I plan on getting in a groove… it is a long ride  and will be my longest with my new knee but I feel good about the ride.

13.1 mile run --  this going to hurt, there is no cheating when you run I am going to have to really push myself albeit slowly to finish this 13.1miles. It will be the furthest I have run in years since before having knee issues!

Here is the scoop on Knellie, my new knee –

I would say I am close to about 70% on my recovery. She still has some swelling and I am pushing it of course but in a calculated careful way. I have been working so hard at rehab and it is fun in that hurts so good kinda way. I am grateful to have the opportunity and determination to do it.

I was able to run the Bolder Boulder 10k the whole way without stopping. I am slow and take some time to warm up but I am hopeful I can run/walk my way through 13.1 miles.

I have been healing everything, my knee, my skin cancer that was removed and of course my heart.

Thank You to Lynne for putting this event together. Thank you to Xanthe for loving me well everyday through everything. And, Rocky I feel  you are with me through it all  -  always.

 If you would like to make a pledge say $1 per mile if I finish it all that is $70.30

At .50 cents a mile only $35.15

Now come on I know you can do .25 cents a mile that is only  $17.58

I will post my results! And let you know if I get all of that 70.3

And then you can get me your donation.

When that happens…

Please send a check or hand me cash I can give you a receipt for this tax deductible donation.

KRD Foundation

I/co Dana Derichsweiler

4894 Kings Ridge Blvd

Boulder, CO. 80301

Live Love!

Dana D

Numbers and Timeline

 

It has been 73 days. Today I did a 15-15-15 cardio workout. I decided to mix it up to make Knellie do lots of different things and get the muscles firing better. So, 15 minutes on the elliptical and that felt pretty good and then I am thinking hey this motion is a little bit like running. To the treadmill – I started walking about 18 min/mile pace. Now, I haven’t run jogged since before my first knee surgery back in probably the summer of 2010. One of my goals and reasons for getting this particular knee is that I would really like to run again -  not every day just enough to enjoy it -  maybe run with Xanthe or I don’t know, do a marathon. It occurred to me walking on the treadmill that I could balance myself with my arms and maybe take a little weight off and give a little jog a try. Ta Dah! I tried it and hey that didn’t feel so bad, I tried letting go of the bars and just running you don’t realize how much balance running takes until you haven’t been doing it and you have a new knee then all those little muscles start firing and it felt really pretty good. I started alternating 1 minute quick walking and one minute running I did this for only 15 minutes but I did increase my pace to a blazing 12 min/mile. I had the biggest smile in the gym and left it at that before I got crazy! I then headed over to my first love the bike and gave her 15 minutes – 5.1 miles. This was definitely a big damn deal day for me and I celebrate every little milestone in my recovery!

Here is a little timeline to date – before I forget

Nov. 8 2011

Surgery --  Iduo Conformis knee replacement

Spent this week Icing, on a Tens unit, taking pain meds, 3 days of crutches --  this week hurts and it sucks. You can’t sleep well you have to prop up your leg and change ice in the middle of the night for pain relief of course it gets better but right now it sucks!

Weeks 2-4

All about working on Flexion and extension which is slow going! After 2 weeks the wound has healed enough to take a bath and I take lots!  Constantly working on flexion and it is uncomfortable to sit it's easier to prop the leg up. At about 4 weeks I am at 90 degree flexion but not comfortable with it.  I still ice every day several times.

Weeks 4-6

I can do stairs but not pretty and it is difficult without much flexion. I am moving better but still in pain some and having difficulty sleeping this was also just a tough time for me with everything going on with my brother! I am walking better and doing PT as much as I can. This is when I got the torture chamber the JAS device and did that 3x a day for 30 minutes. I don’t have to ice every day.

Jan 2, 2012

Finally turned over the bike pedal! Rode my bike to work the very next day! This made a huge progression in my flexion and my muscles working and firing. I will NEVER take for granted being able to turn over a bike pedal. Within 2 weeks I am about 110 degrees flexion comfortable and the goal is about 140-145. I continue to ride a little outside and about 30 minutes on the spinner. I can sleep again without drugs and I can sleep on my side.

Jan. 22, 2012

Well, if you read this you know this is the day I first jogged a little! I am no longer using the torture device from JAS but I think it may have helped… I am using my new Normatec Compression Boots which seem to make everything better! I still massage Knellie everyday with Vitamin E oil just to show her some love.

So, still in the thick of recovering – things on my short list a 25 mile ride outside on my road bike and of course….Snowboarding!

Shout out to Rocky – I am getting there bro,

Live Love!

48 Christmas's and 52 days

I haven't written because I didn't know where to start...like maybe if I didn't write about it it would make it less real. But it is the last day of the year and with tears in my eyes OK maybe running down my face, I say good bye to 2011 and good bye to my brother, "Rocky" Kirk Derichsweiler -- Oct. 06, 1962 - Dec. 12, 2012. We spent 48 Christmas's together and a short lifetime full of joy and the most awesome relationship a bother and sister could ever have. I think it is important that people know that organ donation saved his life
 (I gave him a kidney on Feb. 17, 2006) and it was cancer that took it. I miss him terribly and I know all the right things spiritually  -- that time will heal and grieving is a process and to be grateful for all that we had and that he will no longer suffer -- but, for those of you that have grieved such a loss you know it doesn't help, it hits you like waves out of no where I can have entire bad days or sometimes just moments. One thing I know for sure is that his energy is present and I talk to him and lean on him now more than ever when I am feeling sad or a little depressed. And, I now know more than ever how important it is to reach out to those of us grieving. I have needed every single post, text, thoughts, cards, prayers, hugs, check ins, all of it helps even when I don't have the energy or I am not in the right place to respond it all helps. I am so fortunate to be surrounded by a wealth of love and support from my partner, family, friends and community.
I was with my brother when he passed or as I like to say, transcended. In his last 24 hours one of the things I did as I had done with him before was to talk him through one of his favorite rides -- every little detail from what was in our packs, to the feel of the trail and the breeze on our face. He loved mountain biking so much and was super fit and good at it but one thing I am certain of no one had more fun then he did riding single track. He could always be seen with a big smile on his face and would just be in it --  every turn, every climb, every little techy bit and all the beauty of where he was, he never forgot to look up. So, of the many things I will cherish about my brother one will always be his love of the outdoors and riding bikes which brings me to where I am with Knellie (my new knee). Rocky was one of my biggest fans and cheer leaders, he always thought I was better than I am and he made me feel great about whatever endeavor I was doing. Rocky new exactly what was going on with my knee and my goals and our plans together after the rehab. I will honor those still and take him with me in spirit as I am now through every workout until I get there.
The nuts and bolts --
It has been 52 days since surgery. Ok, so I obviously feel like I am behind --  I wasn't exactly focused on my PT or anything for the last 7 weeks but with that said I think I am ahead of the game. I can get to 109 degrees of flexion with sweaty palms and gritting my teeth. I need to be at 120 degrees before I can turn over the pedal on my bike. I will never ever take for granted being able to pedal my bike! I am about 2 degrees away from full extension. My scar is healing beautifully and swelling is going down. I have been using physical therapy,  Nomatec Compression boots at All sports recovery club  http://www.allsportsrecovery.com/  (and Xanthe just got me some for Christmas!), massage, vitamin E oil, a buffer, cold laser, Jaz flexion / extension brace, and good hard work. Although the lack of flexion is difficult and limits my motion there are things already that I can do without pain that I was not able to do before. Rocky and I have high hopes for this knee and I know with the entirety of my heart I will take it and his spirit with me to many beautiful, challenging, peaceful, joy filled places and
I will not forget to look up.
(I love you, Rocky)

3 weeks and 90 degrees

Flexion Flexion Flexion! I am at 90 degrees, when I work it, push it, warm up and grimace. I need to be at about 120 degrees to make a bicycle turn. Now when that happens people, everyone better just watch the fuck out because I will be back in my zone  and making things happen -- in the mean time, I am still working on pain management and flexion. I somehow convince myself that things are never going to be as bad as they are for as long as they are and I seriously thought I would be way further along then I am now, It has been 3 weeks I know that is just a speck of time in the lifetime of a new awesome knee but sometimes I get cranky about it and I cry if I don't have cream for my coffee (I had a small melt down that Xanthe pulled me through). I also have not been able to sleep though the night without waking up in pain and I am still icing right before bed and then once in the middle of the night for the pain. I talked to my Dr today and she is going to give me Ambien to sleep, I hope that works.  I am still taking Loritab about every 6-8 hours for pain. PT is my favorite it never fails to be extremely painful in a good way and I have to push hard which I love.  My therapists are awesome and get to know me more all the time I think I have earned their respect and they know I am not kidding when I say I want to snow board on Feb. 1st. I have begun this ritual where I walk in the PT office and as soon as I open those doors I tell myself I have to do my very best stay focused and make this hour count I only get this one chance to do this hour and like any sport I am going to leave it all there. It helps me to think of it like a sport -- something to achieve. I never have to look very far for motivation my brother just got out of the hospital today and they are going to be monitoring him to see if they can get his Liver to really start doing it's job. I have people always in my life all I have to do is log on to face book asking me to pray or send energy to this loved one or another who is struggling or challenged in some way -- I have yet to to find a moment that I can't find something for which to be grateful! So, onward Knellie -- 90 degrees and bending we have so many things to do. Live Love!

Timing is everything

Day 16 – Timing is everything.

I got home from Georgia on Day 3 -- Dawn was an angel and handed me off to Cooley and Julie who were waiting in the wings to feed me, ice me and pain pill me every 4 hours. On that Saturday I went from Oxycoden to Percocet trying to stay ahead of the pain and doing my at home PT which was pretty excruciating when it came to flexion.

Day 5 Sunday Xanthe is in India and I miss her and vow to never have surgery again without her here. I talk to my Brother Rocky (Kirk) he will be having surgery the next day to remove a mass from his Liver. We talked about getting it off of there and we could both heal and ride together next Spring in Fruita. I decide not to go down to the hospital since my recovery is so labor intensive and everyone will just want to be taking care of me.

Day 6 Jodi comes over to do some energy work and healing for me and decides to just hangout since I am at the house alone, finally giving Cooley and Julie a break. I am focused on my brother and thinking about his surgery and sending him good love. Then I get the call….. things did not go well, they lost him on the table he was dead, and now alive but basically dying they weren’t able to close him up and were keeping him alive for now. The shock and intensity of this phone call caused me to physically react and almost pass out, thank God my friend Jodi was still with me and able to help me make the next moves. Getting to Pueblo was a nightmare with Julie driving white knuckle into the first darkness of night and Cooley by my side carrying me physically, emotionally and spiritually all the way there. My family was calling to see where we were, it gave an entirely new meaning to how much longer. They lost him again in the ICU… they were saying there was nothing more they could do that they were going to going back in close him up and that was it --  they were sorry  but nothing more they could do. My sister wouldn’t have it… pleading for them to keep him alive until I got there…. We have a special bond my brother and I ever since we shared bunk beds a little kids and took turns as my sister fed us vanilla wafers in the morning. We have had surgery together twice once when we got our tonsils out and once when I shared a pair of kidneys in 2006 he needed one so I gave him one. Twenty miles outside of Pueblo I began to have a talk with my brother I told him if he wanted to fight then fight it. He has had to fight so much for health that some of us so easily can take for granted. But, if he wanted to let go then let go and it was OK. I don’t know why I felt a need to give him permission maybe it is because I feel so much a part of him or because of the parts of me that are in him. I knew he felt my energy and spiritually I believed that we were communicating. As we pulled up to the hospital his son Josh met us out front and scooped me up and in to a wheel chair to get me to his Dad. Josh whisked me through the hospital and past everyone straight to ICU.

As I got my self out of the chair and steadied myself next to him so I could speak to him. I couldn’t help but have the feeling I was not sure he was in that body -- so traumatized and hooked up to so many things to keep it alive I was never more aware of what keeps it “alive” which is our spirit. I felt as though he was hanging around but not fully in his body. I spoke to him telling him he had the courage to choose whatever he wanted and that all of us were there and it was all Love.

His blood began to clot – the one thing that needed to happen in order for him to have a chance was for his blood to clot. Had they not waited for me to get there, he would not have had that opportunity…Timing is everything. My brother is a fighter; I believe that the experience he has chosen is one of great courage and inspiration. He is here very purposefully. Sometimes we are in situations that bring to the forefront of our consciousness the fragility of life and living not just one day at a time but but one moment at a time.  Rocky still has quite a challenge in front of him they ended up taking 60% of his liver and of the 40 that is left 5% still has cancer. His liver is struggling to kick in and start really working. He will be in the hospital for a bit, we are not sure how long – but, I trust the timing it will be what it is -  when it is -  on his time.

So, I started to blog about my knee, and other parts of my life took priority. I feel a little set back in my recovery but not anything I can’t overcome. I too am a fighter and take inspiration from my brother and those in my life that choose to live passionately and boldly. I am 50 years old and have a new knee…. The timing is perfect I am not sure why yet but I know it is. I will post photos to follow and get more in to the nuts and bolts of my PT and where I am in my recovery but where I am in my life is very grateful and present. Live Love!

Whoa! pain.

Day 3 - Well, that nerve block was awesome and it lasted about 20 hours and then whoa-- hello Nellie (my name for my new knee) I got out of the hospital yesterday afternoon and I am Hotel camping with my Camp-mate Dawn Cerrone who will no doubt have a full set of glorious angel wings after this bout of care giving! It has all been about pain management and PT. I think of it as doing laps in relay every 4 hours it's -- pee, exercise, eat a saltine cracker with some peanut butter, drink another bottle of Vitamin water (which Dawn has laced  with Benefiber), take my anti nausea med, my pain med, sleep and repeat.

So, I am really feeling pretty good I can bare all my weight on my leg and already I am getting more range of motion little tiny baby steps. And the hardest of the PT for me knee flexion I have declared as my favorite and just because I love it so much I make myself do a couple of extras of these. I know it is going to be hard to stay on those crutches because I feel like I could walk down the hall way right now and I could. The AvivaTens XP must be God's gift to pain control that little set up is awesome!  Thanks for all your thoughts and  prayers I am so grateful.  here is what she looks like now, all dressed up.